These are thoughts shared in an email from my friend Stephen Gese and he has kindly agreed to let me share them.

One of the most significant changes I've gone through is to procure a SIMPLE faith. it's not written in any book, no dogmatic practices, or controlling doctrines. It's not something you can touch or need to light candles in front of, it's in my heart, and I bask in its freedom and independence.

I cannot spend my life trying to figure out every tiny little aspect of why things are the way they are. I don't wish to continually try to understand and explain why I am who I am. It all wears me out, and makes me want to throw my hands in the air and cry out "Enough ! "

I am at peace with what I believe, it's taken me a lifetime to be able to say that, yet I am not afraid to change my way of thinking if a new truth becomes evident. But for the most part, I just want to remain quiet in my spirituality. It makes me feel more wholesome when I don't have to make a loud noise or prove anything to anyone, or ACT spiritually mysterious. I'd rather just be me, the double Aquarian who is not afraid to say "Oops - let's look at that again." or "Shit, that one sure took me by surprise." Following the simple natural way of my Native American ancestors, seeing the spirit in everything natural and knowing I am kin to it has given me a peace I've never known. It is grounded in the ACCEPTANCE OF THE GREAT MYSTERY, the creator of all, who needs no human explanation. Wakan Tanka, Gitchi Manitou, Unequa, U-Sen, God, The Great Spirit. No matter what name I prefer to use, they all mean the same thing to me.....

"THE FORCE THAT MOVES THROUGH ALL THINGS, YET IS GREATER THAN THE SUM OF ALL ITS PARTS."

Of all the "things" that exist on this planet, by their sheer numbers and our human restrictions, we will only ever get to know a fraction of the whole. Most of those we do get to know, we will only know briefly; not even cordially, even fewer will we ever know intimately.. ....then Poof ! its over. (At least this round) .

So I guess it's very important that we make all the moments count. To decide what's most important in this short stopover we call our life. To not sweat the small shit, and in the meanwhile, introduce ourself to as many creatures as come our way, and at least say hello to the flora as we pass by. Who knows, that simple respect may come in handy in the next go-round.

I'm always contemplating my existence, I daily worry about dying before I'm ready (which would be never) I don't worry about there not being something beyond this life, I just hate to leave anything undone, and by God I have a lot I need to do here yet. But then It's not MY choice is it? and doesn't that mean I am only in charge of myself as I breath. The before and after are out of my hands. I best get busy then.

One thing I have learned as an older person, is that my spiritual balance is more important than my mental or physical, which both decay at varying speeds. We all have our shortcomings in those two areas, but our spiritual well-being IS controllable and even though I have many times neglected it or tried to convince myself it was bullshit, in the end It's always been the one thing that gives me solace. I now find it amazing that there is actually a part of ourself that doesn't wear out; and it takes so very little to feed. I never realized that when I was younger. When I began to founder and flail about because of life's enormous weights, I tried to tie my spirit up with the creeds and tenets of an established religion to set me straight. I let them take my personal spirit-gift and throw it into their righteous potluck to get lost with everyone else's personal heartbeats, only to emerge as one huge dogmatic clone that made me feel protected because of its size.

Experiencing that and finally walking away from it led me to find that really all I need is to keep it simple, personal, and quiet. And never try to prove The Great Mystery, my Great Mystery, to anyone. I don't think the creator ever meant it to be confusing, or arrogant, or the same thing to everyone. Simply acknowledging it in our own way was all that has ever been required. We will learn what we need to learn in due course.

I believe there are those not of this dimension who wait for us. One day they will smile and share the simplicity of things we once believed to be profound, and show us that the things we let overwhelm us by their perceived weight were nothing more than large feathers.

Ayawaste.

Stephen Gese'

© Copyright Stephen Gese 2006